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Serenity
February 8, 2015|LivestyleUncategorized

Serenity

Serenity

Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan!

Pansy. Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love! You don’t know how to do any of those.

Who am I making this out to? Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. A sexy mistake. I can explain. It’s very valuable. No! Don’t jump! Shut up and get to the point!

Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! We’re rescuing ya. I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. Yes! In your face, Gandhi! Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. You are the last hope of the universe. Soothe us with sweet lies. There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! Tell them I hate them.

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